I’ve been challenging myself to do new and hard things and part of that is to expose myself. And no I’m not starting an OnlyFans.
I come from a family of performers, singers, musicians, just an overall gregarious family with very little care about what others thought about them. I wasn’t that girl. I was the fat, insecure girl who was awkwardly finding my place in it all. Fast forward through two decades after losing the extra weight and challenging myself to do new things I found myself embracing the inner performer, I have since competed in a beauty pageant, competed in multiple bikini bodybuilding competitions, performed in a half time show for the NBA Warriors, things I would never take back. and I’m happy to say at 34, that the things that used to scare me, scare me less (but you know surviving two divorces and digging yourself out of $60K of debt will do that).
But now I face a new frontier along with so many others. Putting yourself out there for the judgement of people who don’t know you, who don’t know your story and with only the hope that someone can find inspiration or value in what you’re putting out there in the world. And I have to say, as much as I am no longer that chubby, insecure girl, I’m nervous. But what I remind myself frequently is “do not be afraid to be seen trying”.
Because the fear of regret is what’s going to eat you up at the end of your life, it won’t be because you tried and failed (at least I hope not). Because I believe it’s actually your your duty to live this life as fully as possible, and the only way to do that is to allow yourself to be seen.
This applies to everything from content creation, to your personal and professional relationships. Putting yourself out there in your content for the world to see doesn’t come without some anxiety. Showing your partner the deepest, darkest parts of you, the parts of you that even you don’t like, doesn’t come without fear. Deciding to take on the big project at work that maybe you’re not qualified to do but you do it anyway to put yourself in front of “the big boys” to shoot for that promotion, doesn’t come without some hesitation.
And similarly to anything that you were scared to do before, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It’s easier said than done but put yourself out there eventually your nervous system will start to see it as “normal” and the thing that once scared you will now be just part of your day to day.
I decided almost three months ago I would start taking content creation seriously. And as my first post on SubStack, although I was hesitant to start because who am I to write about anything? Already typing this out has been so cathartic for my soul and fulfilling in ways that I can’t describe. Because my brain doesn’t work in 60 second clips, and although I’m playing the dopamine high game on other platforms. I hope if you’re reading this, that it translates into your veins like a steady calm sea of dopamine. The one I believe we were actually meant to live by. And now that I’ve done my first post, I know the rest will become easier.
Allow yourself the pleasure of discomfort. Because whether it’s building a successful relationship, a budding business, or even a thriving SubStack, you have to put yourself out there.
To be seen, comes with risks, in all areas of your life. I hope you don’t let your fear stop you.